Sensitivity is the key
Posted: October 11, 2009If there is one lesson parents need to learn most urgently, it is to guard what they say in the presence of their children.
Many times following speaking engagements, Dr James Dobson has been approacjed by a mother about a problem with her child. As mum was speaking, it is noticed that the subject of the conversation ( the child ) standing just behind, his little ears stretched as he listened to a candid description of his faults. It is visible that when a parent unintentionally dissassemble a child’s esteem in this way.
It is not just insensitive parents who do this. There is a case of a professional speacalist too. Dr James was once referred a bright 9 year old boy to a neurologist because of severe learning problems. After giving the boy examination, the doctor called his parents, and discussed details of the boy’s drain damage in front of his little patient. If was as if he could not hear those words, or comprehend the insult they carried.
Sensitivity is the key. It means turniong into the thoughts and feelings of our kids, listening to the cues they give us, and reacting appropriately to what we detect. It is a wise adult who understands that self-esteem is the most fragile characteristics in human nature, and once broken, its reconstruction is more difficult to repair than Humpty- Dumpty.
