Dad: Beliefs and truths Myth 5
Posted: January 23, 2008Myth 5: You are destined to be like your own father.
Your father will take on new significance when you become a dad. It’s natural to reflect on your history and think that, for better or worse, you will follow in your old man’s footsteps. But your own father needn’t be your primary role model for parenting. He is just one influence on what kind of dad you’ll become. Look to others who have nurtured you over the years, including teachers, colleagues, friends, uncles, brothers, and so on, and create your own identity as a father.
In my research throughout the world, I found no evidence of one consistent model for fatherhood. Different cultures approach fatherhood in a variety of ways. In fact, in some African cultures, “father” is a group of men, not an individual. Fatherhood is socially constructed, meaning it adapts to the needs of individual cultures. That is exactly what our fathers did. For them, being a good father meant providing the family with a home, food, and education. Our own dads probably didn’t spend as much time with us as we would like to spend with our own children. But they did what they thought was best for us, given social and family demands at the time.
You, too, must make choices that are best for your family. Try to see fatherhood as a role you grow into as you explore the possibilities. You can take the positives from your own family history and add to them in new ways
