Parenting Blessings

Whose at fault is it when a child goes bad ?  Who gets the blame when adolescents skip school, or spray graffiti on bridge, or begin to experiment with drugs ?In the opinion of some people, parents are inevitably responsible for the misbehaviour of their teenagers, and certainty, many deserve that criticism. Some of them are alcoholics, child abusers, or they otherwise damage their kids in some way. But I think it is time we admitted that the sons and daughters of some very loving, caring parents can go astray too.A hundred years ago,  if a kid went bad, he was a bad kid. Now it is the fault of his dear old mum and dad who ” mishandled his childhood”. Well, maybe; and maybe not.Teenagers are old enough to make some irresponsible choices of their own, and they must share the consequences of their mistakes and failures.Am I trying to take bad parents off the hook and make them feel better for their shortcomings ?  No, but I do want to speak on behalf f those good-as -gold mums and dads who did their best they could. they deserve a pat on the back, and a slap in the face.

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It doesn’t take new parents long to discover that kids like to make their own decisions. They always have strong ideas about when they should eat, sleep or play. And that is a good thing.Parents would worry about them if they didn’t show signs of individuality.Kids need to learn to think for themselves and make their own decisions. ( Please note it does not applies to babies but children of certain age and stages of development)The downside is kids don’t always make the best decisions. Sometimes they choose to obey; other times they choose to rebel. Primary schoolers don’t always do their homework, teens don’t always obey their curfew. That is why parenting by trying to control doesn’t work.Instead of forcing them to obey, we need to instill in them a desire to be obedient. And that is done through developing a loving, caring relationship for the earliest age.

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There is a fancy word for kids who don’t do well in school. We call them underachievers. There are three recommendations that can reach some kids:1. Since most underachievers are terribly disorganised, help him establish a system for studying. Turn off television set, keep the computer or any games gadgets out of view and make sure the proper investment in homework is made.2. Stay in close contact with his teachers and know what is going on in the school. Most children do not keep you informed.3. Seek tuition to provide the one-on-one help that may make the difference.There are some hardcore under-achievers who seem determined to fail in school. For them no amount of pushing will get them motivated. In those cases, I recommend that you do with the flow and accept the child just as he is.Not every youngster can be squeezed into same mould and it is a wise parent who knows when to race the engine and when it let it idle.

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The world has defined integrity in a very different way. It has eroded the actually meaning of this word.  Integrity : Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. The news we read, the actions and behavior of people around us, the radio broadcasters and the so called ” Idols”  of the generation are not showing signs that most of them are without integrity. Lying becomes a way of life to them. Speaking out words without a sincerity and a heart to mean it is common in everyday of our lives.I wonder how do our children picking up these behavior and registering them into their little pure mind ? If parents do not provide a good model and is also acting and behaving in non- integrity manners, the child will grow up in that manner too !Warning to parents who think it is alright to tell white lies to your child. Example: When your child ask a very innocent question and you do not have the answer. Do not lie, speak the truth. Tell them you do not know but let’s go and find out together. If your child observe a fact and a integrity behavior and share with you. Do not throw him your essay of what integrity is. ( ask yourself what is your own definition and what has you done ) You may ask your child what does he think and how should it be done. From then, you will know if correction will be needed or encouragement will be needed.Recently at work, I have encountered some issues that related to integrity issue. My heart is telling me that is not right, however, my mind is telling me stop being so poky to interfere with that matter or worst be like the rest of them, as instructed to cover up.  It was a heart tussle issue that bother me for many months. However, I have gotten the solution to this. It is not man’s way or management’s ways. It is my own principle and consciousness. I asked myself if I ever able to walk upright knowing that my values and principles are not violated and I have not regrets of telling them “no ” even to the extend of losing my job or being eliminated as ” aliens” or misfits. My answer is  I will not confront to the their ways. I want to hold my head up high and stick to my principles and values and integrity in everything that I do and not confront under pressure from the current environment.After I see the light of this, by Grace of God and through reading and mediating on His Words, my burden now is light. I also knew no matter what and who I know my model is from God. I want my child to have integrity and that principles should be from God’s Words ( Biblical principles ) and more importantly is to walk the talk and follow it. Be bold and not afraid of what the world says about you.My breakthrough is my strength to teach my child right and to bring her up morally ethical with integrity. This is more important that anything else.

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Source: Dr Bill Maier

Are you tired of watching your kids clean their rooms with a shovel ?  Getting some kids to clean their rooms is like asking sun to rise in the West !

They can be straight -A students, but their bedrooms look like a war zone ! Some parents throw their hands up and say: ” Well, it is their room, and if they want to live that way, so be it .” But I am not sure that is the best approach.

A clean room is often a sign of respect for self and others. And every child should be held to a certain level of neatness, even if it is just ” acceptable”.

One good approach is to set clear rules regarding cleanliness. You might post a memo on the fridge  that evey Tuesday and Saturday are ” Pick-up days” and nobody eats dinner until their rooms are in order then stick to it.

Most kids would not be as concerned about corners as you are, so do not demand perfection. As long as they dig out  the shovel and make a serious effort on a regular basis !

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